When most people think of Nantucket, they imagine sear sucker pants and cardigans draped over the shoulders, but not me. Here are 10 of my favorite things from my most recent trip. Don’t look under your seat while reading this, these are island exclusive.
1. The Fedora – This year’s “IT” fashion item. 99.6% looked ridiculous in said hat. I may be biased, but our group featured the best one on the island for day AND night attire.
2. Rose & Crown – bar hosting sweaty industry night comparable to Faneuil Hall that I would never go to. Great music where you spend the entire night trying to figure out who is spilling their vodka soda on your feet. Most likely suspect = YOURSELF. Great place to determine international heritage of others with the proof of passports.
3. White pants – determined to find the perfect pair off island to then drag across a bumper car greased floor to later be soaked in a gallon of bleach purchased at Rite Aid on the way home while sitting in front of your giant fan.
4. Tropical condoms from your local grocer – This may be a result of a ferry ride to get some action by a 25 year old boy. Let’s jazz it up a bit and get something flavored. Girls LOVE that. Caution this may result in an awkward cab ride by your "dad" Clyde.
5. Van Cabs with no seats/seat belts complete with an operating disco ball – may result in head and bodily injuries. Picture taking is encouraged and one will most likely celebrate not being paralyzed in the morning after doing full somersaults from back to front.
6. Bruins Supah Fan – Despite end of the world dance party, this person reminds us of the time lapse in a Stanley Cup attempt, but then demands music to be played. 12 songs circle on repeat for 4 days.
7. Making babies with your phone – Can sometimes get tricky when you don’t explain up front that your predicted offspring is one of 7 photos provide in an app especially when the self declared best wingman yells to friend in front of random guy: “ X, would you like to make a baby with this guy?” Oh, there's an app for that.
8. Break ups –Breaks ups are tough when you barely recognize each other and they’ve moved on. Refer to #2.
9. “Overtipping” – When you don’t want to ask the 18 year old bartender for your three bucks back leaving him a 12 dollar tip, don’t tell him to have a good summer when tip is left. Chances are he isn’t going to get very far with your 12 bucks.
10. Blueberry Vodka – delicious treat that flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. And when you buy a friend of a friend a drink and they don’t drink it fast enough, don’t drink it and then tell them “technically it wasn’t your drink any way” This cocktail also leads to excessive jewelry purchases.
YOU GET A CAR! & YOU GET A CAR! & YOU GET A CAR!....
Sorry, you really only get severely dehydrated and apply to hair school.
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